Following is a comprehensive list of individuals you may encounter while traversing the Mildred Bonk universe:
JUSTIN HYDE:
A cynical lowlife obsessed with the goings-on of his ex-lover Cara and her new squeeze, Dayton. He is also passionate about outlandish futuristic agriculture.
ROSE MAN:
A tragedy-stricken store owner who is slowly and painfully becoming a rose. It’s never been confirmed whether or not he is associated with the Rose Man who owns that little shop in Duluth, MN.
CHARLIE FUCKFACE:
Please see Charlie’s specific page within this website.
THE HUNGOVER PLUMBER:
No one knows his real name, but the neighborhood consensus is that he likely consumes at least a liter’s worth of Canadian Supreme on a daily basis — and often forgets to submit invoices for his work. So it goes without saying that he is a well-loved member of the community, despite his shortcomings.
RASPUTIN:
A self-proclaimed mystic and holy man who regularly suggests time signatures and chord progressions to the Bonk crew.
SCHLEP:
Known among informed circles as the last buttsman of the Scottish highlands.
GARY:
An elderly gentleman who pesters 911 operators about his wife and the wolf spiders that allegedly emerge from her nether-regions.
STUART: